YA MIGHT WANT TO AT LEAST THINK ABOUT QUITTING SMOKING WHEN:
You put scotch tape on a broken one.
You only smoke half of the cigarette so you can start on the next one sooner.
A big white truck with the picture of a camel rolls up to your house twice a week with your supply of smokes.
You are considering changing your name to Malboro.
You smoke in the shower.
You've convinced yourself that second-hand smoke is not harmful if you inhale really really deeply.
Your children are named: Winston, Philip Morris and Misty.
R.J. Reynolds sends you a Christmas card.
You're waiting for the last few pews to become a designated smoking area before you'll go back to church.
People invite you outside to admire the stars, and it's daytime.
Every time you light up a cigarette your family stops, drops and rolls.
Your family's Christmas wish list consists of gas masks, fire extinguishers and air fresheners.
You have an environmental awareness group protesting on your lawn.
Your family goes to Los Angeles for fresh air.
Your friends have named their secondhand smoke related coughs after me.
Your cat has taken to wearing "The Patch"
Your family uses fog horns to navigate around you.
Just watching the 400 metre race during the Olympics makes you tired.
The local iron lung dealer sends you their product brochures.
Phillip Morris sends you their annual report and thanks you for your help.
You recently read somewhere that your former cigarette manufacturer went out of business shortly after you switched to a new brand.
Your doctor [excitedly] asks for your permission to use your lung x-rays at his next "Quit Smoking" seminar.
You take baths because the shower puts 'em out
Your nickname at work is "Breakroom."
